The Take A Fucking Class

You are sick of talking to idiots day after day after day, but it's what you get paid for, so you have to keep doing it, because you have bills to pay.

Uhg.

Some of the douchebags you're forced to deal with on a daily basis make you really wonder how the human race has survived. There are actually people out there who don't know that a computer can be used for more than surfing the internet. You hear this statement at least once a day: "My internet is broken." After a few questions, you soon discover that the douchebag's COMPUTER IS BROKEN.

If you are an ignorant douchebag who doesn't have basic computer skills and/or knows zilch about the internet...then TAKE A FUCKING CLASS, for fucks sake! Don't call tech support to bitch and whine about how this or that isn't working when you clearly have no clue what you're doing.

And don't expect tech support to train you over the phone, because people with real issues are waiting in queue. Or, worse yet, don't fuck something up by dicking around with it and then call tech support afterwords and pretend that "it just stopped working." Yeah, I guess evil gremlins fucked up your machine's networking while you were sleeping. Guess what, douchebag...we know you're lying, so just admit you were dicking with it and it'll get fixed much faster, because otherwise troubleshooting the issue is just shooting in the dark. Also, while we're at it, we know you got that virus while you were surfing for porn.

Here is a conversation that you have with douchebags almost daily at work:

Tech Support Guy: Please open a browser and pull up google.com.

Customer: Open a what?

Tech Support Guy: A browser. Please open a browser.

Customer: What's a browser?

Tech Support Guy: It's software you use to surf the internet like Internet Explorer, or Firefox, or Safari.

Customer: Do you mean open the internet?

Tech Support Guy: Sigh. Yes, please open "the internet."

Customer: The internet won't open.

Tech Support Guy: Do you mean the browser won't open, or that google won't pull up IN the browser?

Customer: When I open the internet...nothing happens.

Tech Support Guy: So, you're saying that when you click on the icon that opens your browser...absolutely nothing happens.

Customer: Yeah, nothing happens when I open the internet.

Tech Support Guy: So, tell me what you see on the monitor right now.

Customer: Nothing.

Tech Support Guy: Surely you must see SOMETHING.

Customer: It says, "search page cannot be found."