Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The You're Too Broke For Rollerblades

Sweetie likes to rollerblade. She really likes to rollerblade. And you like it when she rollerblades, because after a few warm months of rollerblading around Lake Calhoun, you can bounce a quarter off Sweetie's ass, which is nice for you, because you are an ass man.

Here's the problem: a few weeks back, you told Sweetie you were going to get some rollerblades and rollerblade with her, which was true at the time, and you really want to, but you are fucking broke, and inline skates are expensive.

Well, Sweetie is very excited about the rollerblading plan you came up with, because you aren't really a rollerblading type of guy, so she really never expected you to even consider rollerblading with her, but now that you actually brought it up, she is seriously tickled shitty about the whole project, and now she can't wait for a nice warm day when neither of you have to work so you can both go blade it up on the trails.

Now that you live in Minneapolis with Sweetie, it would be nice if you could actually do some stuff together. You know...like couples do. But she works all the time, and you work all time, and you have completely different schedules, and you almost wish you were still living in different cities and just spending the weekends together like you used to. There was no time for rollerblading then, but at least for two days there was lots and lots of sex, and that was a very inexpensive, yet aerobic, pastime.

Anyway, you considered working overtime to get extra $$$$ for the rolleblades, but if you actually sacrificed more than forty hours a week of your life at your job, you would definitely have to put a bullet through your brain, or drink yourself to death, or both, and that won't get you the rollerblades, and it probably wouldn't make Sweetie very happy either.

4 comments:

Michael said...

Those blades are expensive! Good taste, but holy shit -- expensive!

I hope you find the funds...Because then I'd get to read about all the assholes you encounter on the trails that don't know how to share the road...

erin said...

hope you dont mind me posting a comment. I see your comments on Walk on Red's blog all the time and I always enjoy reading what you write.

Blades are the devil,(took a bad spill on them years back. Road rash is no bueno) but wicked good exercise. I checked Ebay and there are tons listed, on the cheap ; )

Disenchanted Dreamer said...

YOU are entertaining.

I think YOU should keep it up.

D.D.

you said...

These comments are great for morale. Thanks.

Today's crappy weather buys me some more time.

erin - Yeah, I dislocated a shoulder in a mountain bike crash a few years ago, and Sweetie was hit by a giant truck in a crosswalk a couple summers ago, so now she has an awesome bionic wrist.

DD - Good idea. I'll check eBay. I may take a walk through a Play It Again Sports or two.