The Break Shit After Watching A James Cameron Movie

It's after work, and you are watching Aliens. This was one of your favorite movies as a kid.

You also liked The Terminator.

Perhaps if you had spent less time watching James Cameron's bleak science fiction movies over and over and over, you could have actually paid attention to something worthwhile...like studying algebra, or playing football.

Yet, here you sit...years later...still watching.

There are things you should break...starting with the television.

No. The first thing you're going to break is that fucking worthless Lexmark printer. What a god-awful hunk of shit that thing is. You had an HP Deskjet for like ten years, and it never failed you, but it wasn't compatible with your new laptop, so you were forced to purchase a new printer, and you bought a lame-ass fucking Lexmark X-series. Uhg! And it's never worked once. No exaggeration. Not once. It's junk. You're taking an aluminum baseball bat to it tomorrow.