The Layoffs

Sweetie and you are in trouble.

Sweetie's employer, let's call them Tillips & Phemro, has been laying people off left and right. Yesterday, they had a company-wide meeting, and they announced they're going to start outsourcing a lot of their work to China.

Jeezus. What a crock.

Tillips & Phemro is a small, laid-back company that manufactures engine-block heaters. Sweetie does admin work for them, and she's been there since she was in high school.

You always thought Tillips & Phemro sounded like a nice place to work, but you also wondered how they made any money. Their website sucks, and they spend tons of money on fun frivolous, catered parties for their employees with open bars and karaoke sing-alongs. All the employees get every holiday off with pay, and they even get a lot of fake holidays off. For example, Sweetie had Good Friday off every year with pay, and she also got the Monday AFTER Easter off with pay...and Sweetie isn't even Catholic.

During the warm months (when no one orders block heaters), most of the staff twiddle their thumbs from 8 - 5, with an hour break for lunch.

Well, that's all over. Two different CEO's, and one CFO have "resigned" in the past couple months. A new guy was recently hired to run the place, and he got all corporate nazi on their asses, and battened down the hatches.

Now, everyone's afraid to take a shit without asking first, and the pink slips are raining down like confetti.

Sweetie's worried she's next on the chopping block.

You're worried that you hate your own job too much to support the both of you. Plus, you're a broke douchebag with the resume of a cockroach on acid.

And Tillips & Phemro have been complete douchebags about the layoffs too. For example, the sucky website you mentioned above. Well, they've had a marketing person working on a new website for months, and the minute she finished the project...she was axed.

"Hey, thanks for all your hard work. You're fired!"

Side note: Sweetie thinks the new website is hilarious, because it has all these pictures of people...well, pictures of models acting and posing like people...that DO NOT work at Tillips & Phemro.

Also, the website still sucks.