The Wanna Fuck Miley Cyrus

So, you wanna fuck Miley Cyrus, and you realize that makes you a giant pedophile perv. Yeah, you and every guy on the planet who isn't gay, and you're pretty sure, given the opportunity, even one or two gay guys would put their penis in Miley's vaginal area just to be able to say they did it. (They just have the good taste not to blog about it, probably.)

And, believe it or not, that's not even the really fucked-up part, because you don't even think Miley Cyrus is that cute.

Let's have a picture:

Wanting to fuck Miley Cyrus has nothing to do with how Miley Cyrus looks. In fact, if she wasn't famous, and she walked by you on the street, you wouldn't even notice. She'd be just another annoying 15-year-old douchebag. Wanting to fuck Miley Cyrus has to do with who she is.

Why is she everyone's sweetheart? You have no idea. Whatever. Who cares. But the fact that she is everyone's sweetheart makes her fuckable fantasy material.

You've never even heard a Miley Cyrus song (though, you're pretty certain her music is probably Disney-esque, paint-by-numbers, sing-songy bullshit that sucks major balls), but her picture is plastered everywhere. EVERYWHERE!

Have you ever attempted to walk through a Walmart without seeing Miley's cleavage? You haven't, but that's because you don't shop at fucking Walmart, but you were in a Kmart the other day for some reason, and Miley Cyrus's toothy face was in every aisle.

And she's always in these these skimpy outfits showing all that leg. You need another picture to illustrate your point:

They should change her name to Money Cyrus, because her pretty ass is making everyone loads of dough. Well, everyone but you. Her pimp/father has got to be raking it in, but that's a subject for another blog.