The Guy At Work Who Is Never At Work

So, you work with this douchebag. Let's call him Aaron Douchebag. And he's the type of guy who stays fat, and he talks with a lisp, and has crooked teeth. He plays with his Star Wars cards in between tech support calls, because he can't stop until he's become a complete dweeb in the eyes of his peers.

He started about 6 - 8 weeks ago, and he's annoyed you ever since.

Anyway, for the past two weeks, his desk has been deserted, and you had no idea what was going on. All you know is that he left one afternoon about an hour after arriving for work because his "allergies were acting up" and he needed to leave.

Even your lead, John Douchebag, was completely clueless as to the whereabouts of Aaron Douchebag. In fact, John asked you if you knew what happened to Aaron Douchebag, and you just shrugged.

Well, yesterday, he came back to work. He arrived at the start of his shift at 2 PM. At 3:30 PM, he logged off his phone, stood up, and stated, "I have a headache. I'm going home." And then he was gone again.

Not to brag, but you have perfect attendance at work, and you want to call in sick every day, because you really hate your job. Your question is: Why isn't this guy fired yet?