Monday, March 23, 2009

Economic Downturn...Hooray!

You're enjoying this so-called economic downturn. This busted market has made things much more bearable around here.

See, you've never been the type to appreciate wealth like the other douchebags trudging about in this bullshit arena of day-to-day, dog-eat-dog existence. Perhaps this is one more thing you can blame on your bleak catholic upbringing, but you've always considered money evil. (Not that all catholics consider money evil, because there are plenty of pious, genuflecting, Sunday-mass-oholic hypocrites who love to worship their net worth once they lose sight of the church door…but then that’s probably a subject for another blog.)

Until recently, you’ve never given saving money, or investing money, or managing money a second thought. Even the idea of earning money seemed sort of sacrilegious. Not that you’re lazy. You always have 5 – 10 projects on your plate, but that’s usually stuff that doesn’t get you paid, like, for example, writing blog posts. Earning money has always been simply a means of feeding yourself and paying the rent.

Here’s the thing, though: When one chooses to believe that money is no big thing, while living within a money-centric society, life can get kinda rough.

Here’s a little story: Your friend Leslie moved to Boston years ago to attend graduate school at Emerson University. She had a similar mindset as your own when it came to $$$. You’d never been to Boston, so, a few months later, you asked her, “So, what’s it like living in Boston.” She replied, “It’s a lot better than the Midwest. The people here still look down on you if it looks like you have no money, but it’s in more of a ‘I’ll overlook the fact that you’re poor as long as you overlook the fact that I’m greedy and shallow’ kind of way.”

You knew exactly what she meant.

Lately, (sigh) you’ve sort of surrendered to the concepts of buying a home and saving a nest egg for the future, but this is a very recent development. So recent, in fact, that you’ve hardly been affected by this horrible “economic tsunami” that’s depressing the entire globe. Sure, you’re 401k went down a bit, but close to 50% of that is free money anyway, so, unless things really take a dump, you’re not really losing anything. Plus, there really wasn’t that much there to begin with, and it was deposited in the past couple years, so any dip in the market now is just a blip on your account balance. However, with the market bottoming out and all, the balance of the ol’ retirement account has nowhere to go but up. If you had been dumping cash in there from day one, you’d probably be as pissed off as all these people who are pissed off because the 401k’s they’ve been dumping cash into since day one are all fucked up and deflated.



So, really, if you think about it, you kinda dodged a bullet, huh?







OK, you're not done with this subject, but you're out of time. You'll have to finish later. (And you were just about to get really antagonistic, too.)

Monday, March 9, 2009

Dirty-Ass Minnesota Snow

You are so sick of snow. Dirty, dirty-ass Minnesota snow in fucking March.

It makes you feel like taking a nap without brushing your teeth first.

You are off to bed at 3 in the afternoon.



Here's a pic of you and Sweetie on dirty-ass, frozen Lake Harriet Beach...in fucking March.